Treat Yourself to Sensate-Focus Exercises

Are you facing problems in your sex life? Sensate-focus therapy is one of the most effective methods for solving these kinds of problems.

 

During sensate focus you should see each other clearly and you should enjoy silence. (jlp)

Sensate focus can be used anywhere

 

Sensate focus or the therapy of focusing on one’s feelings can be used as an accessory to renew your enjoyment of sexuality if it has become monotonous and routine. The sensate-focus technique can be performed only if both people are involved. We will give you a short description and tell you the purpose of sensate-focus exercises.

Because the point of sensate focus is healing, this is a precisely determined procedure, which is divided into stages. Couples who have no bigger sexual problems can use individual stages of sensate-focus therapy to spice up their sex life.

 

Sensate-focus therapy – stage one

 
First, we have to make sure the mood is right. Because we are naked during sensate-focus therapy, we increase the air temperature, make sure no one will disturb us, switch off the phone, lock the door and create the right mood with the appropriate lighting (the lights should be bright enough for us to see the partner’s body well). One of the partners should lie on their stomach, while the other starts exploring his/her body with light caresses. Special attention should be paid to skin texture, the temperature of the partner’s body and he/she should avoid the genitalia.

The touching takes place in silence and is not intended as a massage, the caresses are slight. We try to get a good feeling for the partner’s body. We switch the roles twice, each is once on the back and once on the stomach. After the end of the first sensate-focus session, we do not discuss it and analyse it immediately, but wait at least half an hour, so that we can analyse the sensations ourselves, refresh them in our minds and save them.

 

Sensate focus is a way of connecting with your own and your partner’s body. (jlp)

The development of sensate focus

 
All the next stages of sensate-focus therapy include adding some elements.

First, we expand the area of exploring the partner’s body to the genitalia as well, but not for pleasure or to cause arousal. We focus on the skin and try to feel the partner’s body. If the partner wants, s/he can place his/her hand on yours and guide it on his/her body, but s/he should not take total control.

The next stage of sensate-focus therapy involves the partners mutually touching each other. They do not switch positions any more, which makes the experience more natural. Slowly, we get to the positions where the woman is sitting on her partner, but no coitus is involved. She can rub the penis on her pubic area and thus explore her sensations. In the next stage, she inserts the head of the penis into the vagina and so on. At each stage of sensate-focus therapy, the couple can return to the previous one, if one of the partners becomes too focused on orgasm and not the specific sensations.

 

In the last stage of sensate focus, penetration also occurs. It is best if the woman is on top.

Practical application of the sensate-focus therapy

 
Sensate-focus method is not only a good therapy for couples with sexual problems. Every couple will discover a new area of sexuality by trying out this technique. We tend to want pleasure and orgasms when it comes to sexuality and we seldom pay attention to all our other senses.

With sensate-focus therapy, sex can become a unique experience where we can get to know our partners with all our senses and not just our erogenous zones. The sensate-focus technique also improves our self-image and does away with the fear of physical dysfunctions, so the sex life gets better and we also feel better in general.

 

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